"What happened to all the Bullies?"
 I’ll
tell you what happened they grew up and went to work. Some
of them may even be working with you.
You know it just amazes me that workplace bullying actually
exists. It amazes me because it absolutely doesn’t have
to.
I mean we can deal with bullies effectively…we have
the technology!
And it’s not just the bullying behaviour that amazes
me, it’s all the negative or what I call “Bad
Apple” behaviours that go on in the workplace. It simply
just leaves me shaking my head in disbelief that companies
are still allowing their “best resource” to behave
in a manner that is so unresourceful.
It’s completely illogical and costly!
Some of you out there aren’t going to like this, but
I’m gonna say it anyway…Supervisors, Managers
– Leaders however you refer to yourselves this behaviour
is going on, and in all likelihood it’s going on in
your department and although it’s not your fault that
it started it’s absolutely your responsibility to make
it stop!
Slow down a little before you delete this email or get yourself
all worked up in a tizzy.
Let me make myself perfectly clear.
Each and everyone of us that, gossips, backstabs, complains
about the company, their team-mates, the boss, intimidates,
holds back and then blows up, micromanages (just to name a
few) is in fact bullying or behaving like a “bad apple”
Bad Apples and Bullies cost the company money.
There are ways that we can communicate even with the most
difficult people that allow us to maintain our dignity all
the while behaving in a manner that is consistent with integrity,
compassion and respect.
Becoming part of the problem is not the solution.
My mama told me time and again
“Jackey sweetie 2 wrongs just do not make it right”
And my dad always said,
“Anybody can hurt another person. Jacqueline, dealing
with your problems properly takes courage, so go on and do
what it takes and make things right, you’ll feel better
about yourself”
I must tell you that was tough to hear and even tougher to
do, and you know what?
Sometimes it’s still tough and over the years I’ve
been practising and I must tell you this, there aren’t
too many people nowadays that try to bully me. And there certainly
aren’t too many people trying to use some “text
book” behaviour to manipulate me into getting what they
want, because I’ll call them on it…. in a respectful,
compassionate and dignified way. You can too!
Learning how to communicate with others effectively
in moments of conflict or even non-conflict can be done…
just do it, go out to where ever it is you need to go and
learn the necessary skills.
Leaders this is where you come in. Look I realize (because
I’ve been a leader and I’ve trained tons of leaders)
that when you got the job as boss they didn’t give you
a manual “how to handle people” or “ Your
role as manager, your role as Leader – Defined”
They didn’t give you the manual because they didn’t
get one, and for the most part many of your bosses are just
“winging” it, hoping they won’t be found
out and that everything will work out in the end. Well I say,
“ Here’s to hope” (now be certain to say
‘ Here’s to hope” with just a note of sarcasm)
Enough’s enough. If we would all just be a little more
honest with ourselves we’d have a heck of a lot more
success. I for one really think it’s time we started
enjoying more success in life.
Hoping is not going to help you deal with difficult people,
bad apples and most certainly not with Bullies.
Leaders, often times dealing with these behaviours bottom
line ends up in your corner.
You see by not dealing with these behaviours you’re
sending a very clear message that those behaviours are acceptable
they are what is required in order to survive within your
corporate culture. Dysfunctional as it may be that is what
is being created by not dealing with what needs to be dealt
with.
Isn’t there enough dysfunction out there? Really who
wants to work in that type of environment? Now I know there
are people that do, well then let them go and find somewhere
else to work that’s just like them.
You can’t believe the number of people that have confided
to me during one of my workshops that they are actually afraid
of losing their jobs for attempting to stand up to a bad apple
or a bully (including their micro managing bosses).
Of course I realize that often times this is just their fear
running wild. But at the same time there’s way too many
people saying the same thing for me to just ignore this problem.
During Transformational Leadership I actually teach leaders
how to be leaders, and amongst many other things I teach them
how to effectively deal with these behaviours.
I know that this isn’t going to help those of you
that are not bosses and who are working in these conditions,
so here’s 4 “gotta do’s”
to get you on the right path...
- Keep a log of specific observable behaviour. Saying someone
is “difficult” says nothing about what they’ve
done. Saying that they are argumentative, or that they refuse
to help well that’s specific.
- Approach them privately and in a dignified manner and
express to them that you are uncomfortable with specific
past behaviours. They may ask for details. (Good thing you
kept a log)
- Explain to them what you would like to see happen in the
future.
- If they continue with the behaviour and if it escalates
get your supervisor or manager involved immediately. Arrange
a 3 way meeting and request that they supervisor/manager
act as a liaison to ensure resolution.
Some of you may choose to get a senior person involved
right from the get go.
This is ok. All the same I still suggest that you attempt
to resolve the issue directly without their intervention.
It offers the other person to “save face” and
may avoid them getting their backs up.
Particularly in the case of bullies they quite often will
back down quite easily (bullies usually like to pick on people
that they know will let them)
So just let your boss know before you approach the other
person that you’re going to address the problem and
attempt to resolve it without their help.
“Dealing with your problems properly takes courage,
so go on and do what it takes and make things right, you’ll
feel better about yourself”
 For
you Success
Jackey Backman
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